No Romance Without Finance

Remember the Gwen Guthrie song? “Ain’t nothing going on but the rent. You have to have a J-O-B If you want to be with me”. “No Romance Without Finance”. Women enjoy being courted, wined and dined and showered with expensive gifts which is romantic but dating shouldn’t make a man bankrupt. Nor should dating involve sex in exchange for dinner, gifts, or money.

Many men are unable to date due to being unemployed or underemployed and many women are unwilling to date a man without a job, in between jobs, who wears non designer clothing, has children or lacks a formal education. This leaves many men and women single. It is always wise to carry money on a date just in case. Be responsible. It is not a man’s responsibility to take care of your debt or your bills especially in the beginning of a relationship. What are you contributing to the relationship?

A woman is supposed to be a blessing to a man and not a burden. I totally understand there are costs involved in preparing for a date such as hair, nails, makeup, new dress. Sadly, women still earn less than men so it can be a financial challenge to always contribute on a date, however God didn’t create women to be Gold Diggers.

This is what God said in the bible in Genesis 2:18 “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” See a woman’s purpose is to be a helper. Through words of encouragement, prayer, and emotional support we can help a man in various ways. We can uplift a man’s spirit and help him to avoid mistakes. Today’s modern woman should aspire to be a Proverbs 31 woman of virtue who works hard and is a blessing to her husband.

Esther, an orphan, Jewish woman in the bible was fortunate that God blessed her with a husband, King Xerxes. Esther had plenty of competition from other women to be the next Queen but, God’s favour was on her. God ordered Queen Esther to reveal to King Xerxes she was a Jew in order to save her people from genocide. Esther wept at her husband’s feet not to kill her family member Mordecai and the Jews. “For how can I endure the murdering and slaughter of my people” – Esther 8:6. Esther prayed, fasted, and prepared a feast for the King and as a result he didn’t kill the Jews. So in this story we understand the importance of trusting God to bless us with the right partner, to lovingly help our partner, to pray and obey God.

We are created to love one another. To live a life without someone to love is not living, it is existing. We all have love in our hearts to give. Life has more meaning when we’re in love. Scientists have proven that love changes our brain chemistry. You can usually tell when a family member or friend has a new love interest in their life. They have a glow and are smiling from ear to ear with happiness.


Dating someone for money reveals your superficiality. You sabotage your chances of finding true love when you put a price tag on it. Money can’t hold you tight at night or comfort you when you’re sick. Money can make anyone look desirable and lure you into a relationship, but after the money is gone then what do you have left if there is no one to love? Loving a pet or child is no substitute for loving a spouse.

With economic inflation, and companies laying people off, Ladies we need to understand that many men are unemployed or underemployed. We don’t want to miss out on a good man. Getting to know someone and building a relationship is done by spending quality time it’s not all about going on expensive dates, and buying gifts. You can go to church, a museum, gym, park, watch the stars, watch a sunset, cook a meal or volunteer at an event together.

Allow love to develop and grow. Ladies, I urge you to get to know a man. Don’t let his job, income, car or the his shoes influence your decision. No romance without finance means the success of the relationship is doomed. Money can’t buy love. Somethings are not for sale.

The conversation you need to have with your partner regarding money is a case-by-case basis. There is no hard rule for how much a man and woman should contribute when paying for things. The most important thing to do is communicate – talk to your partner or the person you are dating and come to a compromise. If they are special to you, you should never let money get in the way of a good relationship.

Beloved this is my prayer for you:

Dear Lord Heavenly Father thank you for providing a suitable partner for me. As I patiently wait, please prepare me for marriage. Through the blood of Jesus cleanse me and make me whole. May I be receptive to love and be loving towards others. Open up my eyes Lord to see the right partner whom you have chosen for me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen